The original "funny lady," Paula Johnson, made her debut at The Ice House to a near sold-out crowd last night, but one person was conspicuously missing - me. Since I was the butt of one of Paula's jokes and had encouraged many friends to attend, I tried my darndest to be there. But grogginess and a continuing case of "green behind the gills" prevailed. (Ironically, I postponed my chemo until next Monday to make sure that I wouldn't miss this big night.)
George and a half-dozen other friends have reported back to me that Paula was indeed hilarious. George said that Paula can even make sipping water from a plastic bottle look funny.
I plan to view the DVD with a few friends on Friday and will give a full report later this week.
One thing that I've discovered is that it's easier to be a "funny lady" behind the keyboard than it is to put on a happy face in person. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I missed my friends' wedding on Friday but made an appearance at their reception. I WANTED to be there, but my body didn't. I TRIED to take the focus off how I was feeling by asking questions. (e.g. Now what percentage of the entire portfolio do you recommend that clients invest in foreign currency?) I PRETENDED that I was feeling fine, but I'm apparently not very good at it.
Consequently, my life since Friday has been a series of broken social engagements: a wedding, breakfast, lunches, dinners, The Ice House. This, I see, will be my challenge: figuring out the balance between "giving in" to feelings of exhaustion and sickness or "going out" and continuing to the best of my ability.
Suggestions are welcome!
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
March 2008 - Sometimes I feel like a wig.
Sometimes I don't.
Up a tree and feeling on top of the world
Blog Designed by
Be the Match!
Links
- About Stem Cell Transplants
- Asians for Miracle Marrow Match (A3M)
- City of Hope
- City of Hope: Donating Blood or Platelets
- Daily Survival Guide for Serious Illness (Gilda's Club and the Tom McDermitt Fund)
- Histopathology of MCL
- Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
- Lymphoma Information Network
- Lymphoma Research Foundation
- Mantle Cell Lymphoma Consortium
- National Cancer Institute
- Your Brain After Chemo
What does a writer do when she finds out she has stage 4 Mantle Cell Lymphoma? She blogs. Because, as everyone knows, cancer sucks, but blogging rocks.
On January 26, 2007, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Mantle Cell Lymphoma (blastic variety), a rare, aggressive and treatment-resistant form of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.
My team at the City of Hope decided to bring out the big guns - six rounds of Hyper CVAD followed by an autologous stem cell transplant. I bounced back after each round of chemo, but my blood counts didn't.
After four rounds we called chemo quits and started collecting stem cells for the auto stem cell transplant. The harvesting took three tries, two drugs and eight weeks, but I finally eked out the minimum two million stem cells.
After megadoses of chemo, I received my stem cells on November 14 and 15, 2007. I bounced back almost immediately. Best of all, I achieved complete remission from the Mantle Cell Lymphoma.
In January 2008, I was hospitalized for 11 days for chemo-induced pneumonia. I bounced back.
In the summer of 2008, my eosinophils (a component of the white blood cells) rose to dangerous levels and infiltrated my lungs and GI tract. My weight dropped to 105 pounds, and I was incapacitated for nearly three months. Once again, I bounced back.
I continue to make monthly visits to the City of Hope for blood tests and check ups, quarterly visits for maintenance Rituxan and semi-annual visits for scans.
I'm still in remission and have more energy than ever. And about that perfect purse? I keep looking.
Here are a few other things keeping me busy:
My food blog, Open Mouth, Insert Fork
My consulting business, A New Leaf Communications
The Orange Cat, a site for family fun in the San Gabriel Valley
A3M - Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches
YWCA Pasadena-Foothill Valley
IWOSC - Independent Writers of Southern California
On January 26, 2007, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Mantle Cell Lymphoma (blastic variety), a rare, aggressive and treatment-resistant form of non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.
My team at the City of Hope decided to bring out the big guns - six rounds of Hyper CVAD followed by an autologous stem cell transplant. I bounced back after each round of chemo, but my blood counts didn't.
After four rounds we called chemo quits and started collecting stem cells for the auto stem cell transplant. The harvesting took three tries, two drugs and eight weeks, but I finally eked out the minimum two million stem cells.
After megadoses of chemo, I received my stem cells on November 14 and 15, 2007. I bounced back almost immediately. Best of all, I achieved complete remission from the Mantle Cell Lymphoma.
In January 2008, I was hospitalized for 11 days for chemo-induced pneumonia. I bounced back.
In the summer of 2008, my eosinophils (a component of the white blood cells) rose to dangerous levels and infiltrated my lungs and GI tract. My weight dropped to 105 pounds, and I was incapacitated for nearly three months. Once again, I bounced back.
I continue to make monthly visits to the City of Hope for blood tests and check ups, quarterly visits for maintenance Rituxan and semi-annual visits for scans.
I'm still in remission and have more energy than ever. And about that perfect purse? I keep looking.
Here are a few other things keeping me busy:
My food blog, Open Mouth, Insert Fork
My consulting business, A New Leaf Communications
The Orange Cat, a site for family fun in the San Gabriel Valley
A3M - Asians for Miracle Marrow Matches
YWCA Pasadena-Foothill Valley
IWOSC - Independent Writers of Southern California
March 2008 - Sometimes I feel like a wig.
Sometimes I don't.
January 2009
Up a tree and feeling on top of the world
-
▼
2007
(286)
-
▼
March
(40)
- Tuesday Discharge
- Colon Clean as a Whistle
- She's BAAAACK!
- Janet Aird is taking down names!
- A Look on the Bright Side at Hotel Hope
- Drugs? Susan likey!
- Provide a ride?
- News from "the inside"
- Finding chemo...
- Get me to the hospital on time!
- A Day of Cleansing
- What a send off!
- Celebration Time
- The Headlines
- Your cancer correspondent
- Striking Gold
- Visiting at City of Hope
- I Heart City of Hope
- These Are a Few of My Favorite Foods (Part 1)
- Tara the Terrific!
- A Twist in the Plot
- Bon Voyage
- "Before You Die" Books and Finding the Perfect Purse
- What's in YOUR Back Yard?
- I Second That Opinion
- Signed, Sealed, Delivered
- Hyper CVAD, Hyperactivity
- Surprise, Surprise, Surprise
- Calendar Girl
- Just the Facts, Ma'am
- It's Crunch Time!
- Chemo Klatch
- Giving Up Selfishness
- Holy Guacamole
- Avocados, Anyone?
- Funny Lady
- It Aint Easy Being Green
- What About George?
- Bad to Good to Great
- What's Worse Than a Root Canal?
-
▼
March
(40)
Cancer Banter
I can't die. I still have to find the perfect purse.
8 comments:
You already mentioned the key: balance. Go out when you feel up to it and stay in when you don't. Once you get over this, you can go out as much as you want (I'm exhausted just thinking about it).
I think it's important to give yourself permission to stay in bed if you feel crappy. I'm also a get-up-and-go kind of person and have a very hard time lying around, so I relate to your frustration.
But please know that we all understand if you can't be somewhere, and go easy on yourself.
We missed you a lot last night, but will enjoy watching Paula all over again on Friday.:-)
Janet is right. When cancer is your social secretary, things are bound to get scrambled. So hop off the merry-go-round and let yourself veg out. You'll be back to your madcap multi-tasking ways sooner than you think.
Thanks for the good advice, gal pals. One of my fears is that friends will "write me off" after I've flaked a few times, but I see that's a needless worry.
Paula was indeed one of the funniest people who performed last night. Maybe, she should put together another routine for our next holiday party. Wait until you see the tape, you'll just howl.
As for feeling crappy and lying around...An iPod filled with your favorite tunes might be the answer. Music can have a very calming effect when words and conversation fail. Many years ago in the pre-iPod era, I had to have some oral surgery done. When the dentist told me I was going to have to sit staring into space for 3 and a half hours, I almost wigged out. But he let me bring a cassette player with my favorite tapes to the office. I listened to great music the whole time and was oblivious to the surgery. I didn't get bored for a minute. That's today's tip for sanity maintenance.
Best, Judy
Trust me, no friend will ever write you off.
Balance? In this case it is very easy: Let the world come to you. On your terms. When you are ready. It's your turn to be the diva. Take it. Paula's right: you'll be madly multi-tasking sooner they you know. That's a promise because you are very good at that madcap multi tasking. We need you.
P.S.: I owe you soup.
Margaret
Thank you all for the collective wisdom and support!
Post a Comment