Friday, January 11, 2008

So . . . When's the (discharge) date?

ISDK (I still don't know.)

Doesn't this bring you back to the pre-auto-stem-cell-transplant waiting game when I had no idea when I'd be hunkered down for my month-long stay?

My temperature and blood pressure are normal, my chest X-rays look relatively clean, and I'm feeling a little stronger every day. The problem is that I'm still a long way from feeling back to my "old self." You remember "her" - that wild and crazy Susan who could go to the bathroom without an oxygen tank.

I saw Dr. Dunst, my pulmonologist, yesterday and asked him why my body still feels so ravaged. He said that I'm like a house that's just been on fire. Something (we still aren't sure what) clearly created the devastation. The flames are no longer burning, but the evidence - the destruction, charring and ashes - are obvious. It takes time to rebuild. Just call me "this old house."

Dr. Dunst did not share with me that he heard a heart murmur. Dr. Forman broke this to me this morning and said that he's sending up a cardiologist to listen to my heart today. I'm trying to remain calm about this, if for no other reason than to keep from hyper-ventilating.

One benchmark for discharge will be the ability to walk more than a few feet without oxygen. We didn't even discuss the blood counts, which are continuing to slip slightly each day.

The boredom is slipping away, and I'm working hard to not let it be replaced by another emotion.

VERY POSTIVE UPDATE (1:40 PM): I just received an email from Dr. Forman, who was impressed with the looks of today's chest X-ray. A discharge of "early next week" looks entirely feasible. YAHOO!


Mrs. Duck said...

Hang in there. You'll get through this one, too. The body does weird things, who knows why. But you're strong and will be back to normal soon -- I'm sure of it!

Karen said...

Hey Smookies, keep thinking those positive thoughts that you are so famous for! I'm off to Ojai for the weekend, but I'll be thinking great thoughts for you all the time and will check in next week.

Stay strong! Before you know it you'll be running laps around that bathroom. :-)

Margaret Finnegan said...

It is hard to be up all the time. Thanks for letting the more generally-terrified by-life among us see that you get scared and depressed too. If you don't have to be brave and positive one hundred percent of the time, than I can feel better about the ninety percent of the time I worry that everything is going from bad to worse. I know your spirits will improve. You're indefatigable. And I know you're body will improve. You won't give it any choice. So just hang in there and know that we are all thinking of you and sending you lots of love.

Desiree said...

Yahoo for the early release date!!!

Piper Robert said...

I've been checking your blog everyday, again. I agree with Karen 100 percent, "keep thinking those positive thoughts".

Glad to read about the "early next week" discharge.

So, give us the skinny on what the cardiologist said about the heart murmur thing. Sounds like it's innocent, not to worry.

Pardon me while I put on my Big Brother hat. Do everything the medical staff tells you to do. Don't try to talk them out of anything. Big Brother hat off.

Did you ask George about wearing a kilt for the race?

Love ya!!!

Susan Carrier said...

Thanks, everyone.

I was down for a short spell, but I didn't stay down.

Piper: Yes, big brother.
Yes, big brother.
No, big brother. :)

Piper Robert said...

As Dad used to say to me, "You're the oldest, you should know better." :-)

Where's Paula?