Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Stick to Pralines, Not Pity

On Tuesday, former Gucci designer Tom Ford made a guest appearance on the Martha Stewart Show and helped whip up a batch of pecan pralines.

Martha pointed out that the iconic designer is featured in the May 28 issue of New York Magazine. The article, Tom Ford After Sex, "explores who he is without all that libido to sell."

Martha pulled out a copy of the issue, but, much to her embarrassment, discovered that the cover was a group shot of 143 cancer survivors, ages four to 92. The dissonance between Gucci and cancer was too much for Martha to handle. She condescendingly patted the cover and sadly explained, "These poor people have cancer. I hope they get better soon."

I hope that Martha can take a break from decorating and dining long enough to read the cover story, Cancer: The Survivor Monologues, to gain some insight into the people she pities so much.

The riveting series of first person accounts highlights the "surreal emergencies, suppressed marital stresses, comforting superstitions, petty irritations, spontaneous epiphanies, and other moment-to-moment means by which cancer – the ultimate life-altering experience – goes about its business of altering lives.”

I think you'll find the piece more addictive than pecan pralines.


Karen said...

My gosh, I can't believe Martha said that. She's to be pitied. How witless. I guess she can't read so well, either. It said "survivors".

I hope she didn't spoil your taste for pralines!

I went through a brief spell of buying her magazines, years ago, and finally gave up because they're so ridiculous. No one could possibly do 1% of what appears in a single issue, and if you really cared about all those ideas and believed it was important to accomplish them, you'd feel a total failure. Fortunately, I decided that having home storage areas organized like Smithsonian collections, knowing how to use tree leaves and reeds to wrap small packages, and how to tell vintage milky-seafoam-green glass from modern knock-offs wasn't really important. The last issue I bought was a February issue. I spent four hours trying to make six perfect jumbo cookies for Valentines day, and they all crumbled!

Worst of all, the crumbs didn't taste good. The only virtue of the cookies was, apparently, visual!

You can tell you've left WVa when:

Your meatloaf recipe includes balsamic vinegar.

You'd rather wear Jimmy Choo shoes than something comfortable and functional.

You own clothes that look appropriate with Jimmy Choo shoes.

You think "work" is something that's done to your face.

When you're served endadame instead of bread at the start of a meal you feel lucky.

Mrs. Duck

Karen said...

Oh, by the way, the day before yesterday on NPR they had a story about a new study whose purpose was to rank states from "most representative of American demographics" to "least representative". I forgot which was the most representative -- it may have been Illinois. But the least representative was ... West Virginia. It's the whitest state, most Protestant, least culturally diverse, slowest changing, and poorest. They said the rankings were available on NPR's website.

Piper Robert said...

You know you're in WV when you say "Jimmy Choo shoes", 2 people say, "Bless you!"

Interesting about the NPR study. My Grandpa Hannah once made the remark he knew a Catholic and he seemed to be a right good fellow. Martha's remarks are in the same vein. Karen, really enjoy your comments.

I checked out NPR's website, looking for the rankings and came across this:

I'm more cognizant of cancer related stories. Check this out, Sue.

You know you're in WV when, you hear a great shout of joy reverberating throughout the hills and hollows of the Mountain state because Sue is cancer free! Amen!!!

Sue, here's the lyrics of an old gaelic tune I play on the pipes, Mist Covered Mountains. Maybe it will remind you of home.


There shall I visit the place of my birth.
They'll give me a welcome the warmest on earth.
So loving and kind, full of music and mirth,
The sweet sounding language of home.

O, roe, soon shall I see them,
O, hee-roe, see them, oh see them.
O, roe, soon shall I see them,
The mist covered mountains of home!

2. There shall I gaze on the mountains again.
On the fields, and the hills, and the birds in the glen.
With people of courage beyond human ken!
In the haunts of the deer I will roam.

3. Hail to the mountains with summits of blue!
To the glens with their meadows of sunshine and dew.
To the women and the men ever constant and true,
Ever ready to welcome one home!

Love ya!

Susan Carrier said...

Funny comments!

I thought Jimmy Choo owned the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet in Parkersburg.

Piper Robert said...

You're thinking of Jimmy Gesundheit.

Paula Johnson said...

West Virginia has one HUGE advantage. Newell is home to the Homer Laughlin China Company, makers of Fiesta dinnerware.

I dream of the day I can attend one of their tent sales. It would need to be a road trip because I would not trust an airline, FedEx or the post office with my tent treasures.

Karen said...

Here's the URL for the story on NPR about the rankings of the various states:

Karen said...

Jimmy Gesundheit! LOL!