Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Long Goodbye

After one week, no fewer than 12 phone calls, escalation to managers, 12.5 hours on hold and four broken promises to "call right back," my AT&T DSL service was finally restored last Thursday. (If my doctors and I had been this inept at diagnosing and treating my mantle cell lymphoma, I'd be pushing up daisies now.)

AT&T promised me Thursday morning that the DSL would be working by 8 pm. Like magic, it was up and running at 7:45. Of course, the "magic" involved 2.5 hours of my time on the phone with three different reps. My mantra, repeated at least 23 times, was, "My service was disconnected in error. I will stay on this line until it is fixed."

But do you want to hear the most painful part of this entire process? Saying goodbye to the reps. After I've been on hold with someone for an hour or two, I don't need a long, drawn-out goodbye. I just wanna' hang up. But, in the name of good customer service, AT&T has to keep me on the line for an additional five minutes.

AT&T: I will transfer you now to a customer specialist who will be able to help you.

Me: Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it.

AT&T: Thank you for choosing AT&T. We appreciate your business. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Me: No thank you.

AT&T: Do you have any questions?

Me: Just one. When are you going to transfer me?

AT&T: It's been a pleasure doing business with you.

Me: Yea, yea, yea

AT&T: You may receive a phone call asking you to rate your service experience. I hope that I have done everything possible to serve you.

Me: (Under breath - I do not have anything good to say about you or anyone at AT&T because you disconnected my service in error and can't get it reconnected and now could you PLEASE let me go.) Yes, thank you.

AT&T: Thank you for being a valued AT&T customer. Have a great day!

You say goodbye, I say hell(o).


Anonymous said...

I am glad to read that you are so much stronger. Speaking of Long Goodbyes - I have made several attempts to email you but guess I have not kept up with newest address because I get those darn error messages. It has been a busy summer for me and I have not kept up very well with anything - we moved last month to Oregon. Please send me your newest email address - I am still with AOL Joyce K

Nancy said...

DSL Finally! I'm sorry it took so long. I don't know how you stood for it. You are much more patient than I. Plus, you had to make alternate plans to get linked up.. the library, starbucks, etc... I would've hated it. All good things come to those who wait and wait and wait... Hope all is well. love, n

altadenahiker said...

It's the "Can I help you with anything else," that annoys me the most. I always say, "But you haven't helped me with anything at all yet." And of course they're thinking, "You stupid bitch. You know it's in my script; I have to say it."

Ronni Gordon said...

How annoying, and how familiar to anyone (meaning these days most everyone) who's been stuck on the phone with a rep or worse still in a phone loop where you never do connect with a real person. It's especially annoying when they have to read the whole thing back to you and won't let you go til they're finished.

Susan C said...

Joyce, Great to hear from you. I'll email you.

Nancy, I don't know how patient I was. I would often request that our conversation NOT be recorded for fear that the transcript may be used against me in a court of law.

AH and Ronni, Yes, you got that right.

I added a line in the post that I'd be pushing up daisies if my doctors and I were equally inept.

Trish said...

ok, don't be scaring me about goodbyes! jeesh!

I do NOT miss the conversations with AT&T. Getting sent in circles, ending up talking to the same people over and over again, with no results, other than to tick me off more. In our old apartment, they had come out and climbed up the pole to do something for someone else. After that we had no phone service (we still had dialup back then). When I called I was told that they "did not disconnect service and it MUST be a problem inside and the earliest appointment was 8 days away". After that week+, a different line guy came out and found that in fact, they HAD jostled something and disconnected our line accidentally. But no apology from them. My last discussion with them a few years ago is what did it for me to quit them. Two different people telling me that what the other person said was untrue and that they themselves could not help me, but I needed to talk to the other person. That was my last straw. And my last nerve!

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"---hahahahahahahahaha!

Glad you're up and running again!

Surfin USA!